Patience #1

Originally written 7/6/10

"I love the 4th of July! It's my favorite holiday and this year it was especially inspiring as I sat in church and worshipped the being that made it possible for me to worship him in freedom, wherever, whenever, I choose. How uniquley special that experience was. How grateful I am to live in the United States of America and enjoy the freedoms I enjoy, religiously and according to my gender. We are very blessed here and I pray we always remember how very blessed we are.

That's not my topic this week though, just an observation. I love very much how the Lord chooses to teach us in the simplest ways sometimes, and how much he uses the craziest things to help us understand situations we find ourselves in. This story was relayed to me by a co-woker but definitely something I needed to hear. She had no idea i needed this story, nor the lesson it taught me. Thank heavens for promptings from the spirit, in any situation."

Patience #2

"A member of her bishopric is training for a triathalon, and had been training for each leg of the race seperately. He had spent hours upon hours swimming, riding his bike, and running, but at no time had he ever put them all to together in full race length.(Which happens to be a mile swim, a 26 mile bike ride and a 6 mile run.) He decided, since the race was coming up quickly that he needed to focus on putting the events together. Having completed a triathalon, I understand that very well!! So on a saturday, he began his race. During the swim and the bike, he felt great, but as he started to run, he knew he was in trouble. His legs ached, he couldn't breathe, his body was weary!. Half way through the run he didn't know if he was going to make it back to the car. He said a fervent prayer, praying the lord would help him finish this strong as this was his goal. Soon after he had to stop running entirely and literally drag himself back to the car. Eventually he made it back. During the walk, he was a little upset. He had prayed in faith, why wasn't he able to finish this the way he wanted to? It was his goal to do this, why had the Lord not blessed him?

As he got back to the car though, he realized just how much the Lord blessed him. Sometimes, in the race of life, we get to run, sometimes jog, and oftentimes, we walk. We learn and things happen at different speeds in our life, and it is dependent on what the Lord needs to teach us. The most needful thing for this man, was that he return to the car, and the Lord made it possible for him to return to his car. Right then, he didn't need to be running and no matter what, the Lord always blesses us with that that is most needful. There are things He needs to accomplish with us and sometimes, we can only learn those things at a walking, rather than running pace, as much as we would like to run."

Patience #3

"I, in my life, feeling like I've been walking for so long, I'm no longer in shape, cause I'm not getting any hard cardio! As she relayed this story to me, I recognized in me, the desire to run, but the Lord needs me to walk. The Lord has been preparing me for a while now, which I understand from blessings I've received and impressions given me. I don't know what that is, but whatever it is, i can only learn the things I'm learning, at a walk. Patience, my family, is a virtue. One that I have a very hard time with, but the Lord has a way of teaching me. The Lord has never ceased to bless me with what is most needful in my life. He knows me, and knows how and what I need to learn and will teach me perfectly.

Patience in the Lord, in what He is teaching me, is essential. Simply, because He CAN see the beginning from the end, and I CAN'T. He knows me perfectly. He knows all things perfectly and my pride and frustration is not going to make me walk any faster. In fact, it might make me slow down, because the Lord can't teach a hardened heart. Faith and trust in His timing, and teaching method are then what become explicitly important. Do we trust the Lord to make us perfect? I DO!! There are very few perfect beings, and i would only trust the perfect ones to show me the way. I just have to remember that, when I want to run!"

Merciful God #1

Originally written 6/29/10

"I wanted to express my love for each of you. All of you are so very dear to my heart and I'm so grateful to understand the plan of salvation which teaches me I still get to have you in my life when one of us passes on. How horrific life would be if I loved each of you this much and then that was the end. Each day I learn more about our Father in Heaven's mercy, including the amazing principles found in the plan of salvation.

This week was crazy, with all I'm trying to do at work and then a really quick trip to Vegas for my bestie's bridal shower. Amidst all that, I was reading in Alma, which so often in the past I have not always enjoyed reading because it seems it's just war after war. Oftentimes, though you stumble along a passage that you've never read that way before and it quickens, yet soothes your heart. I felt this way as I was reading this week."

Merciful God #2

"Alma 26 is an account of Ammon praising the Lord, who he feels is so merciful. Please remember this is the same Ammon, who with his brothers and Alma, went about trying to destroy the church. Through their fathers' faith, they received a witness, repented and decided to share the gospel with the Lamanites. When people heard where they were going, they 'laughed them to scorn'. In essence they said, who do you think you are? Look at those people, they are prideful, stiffnecked, they love to shed blood, and have committed some grievious sins. Do you really think you can change them? It would be better go to war against them and kill them to rid the land of their iniquity, lest they detroy us.

Currently their mission had been a great success. They had converted King Lamoni and his Father and all the people in their kingdoms. Other Lamanites were so upset they took arms up against them, bent on destroying them. The Anti Nephi-Lehites (the new name for the converted) refused to pick up their arms and instead bowed themelves down and submitted themselves to the other lamanites, who then killed them, even though they never fought back. Some of the lamanites, upon seeing this had their hearts swell within them, they repented and were converted. They threw down their weapons of war and joined with the people of God. Over 1000 were slain by the Lamanites but more than that were converted."

Merciful God #3

"Ammon speaks and says, over a thousand of our brothers were in the midst of darkness, even the darkest abyss but they have brought into a marvelous light. How many thousands have hath He loosed from the pains of hell and brought to sing the redeeming songs of love, were encircled about with everlasting darkness and destruction, but he had brought them into his everlasting salvation, encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love. He even talks about his own state saying 'Behold, WE went forth even in wrath with mighty threatenings to destroy his church. Why did he not consign US to awful destruction, why did he not let the sword of his justice fall upon US and doom US to eternal despair.

The answer? Our God is a merciful God. 'For He has all power, all wisdom, and all understanding. He comprehendeth all things, and is a merciful being, (HE) is mindful of every people...and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth.'

In an instant over 1000 people repented and were converted. Previously, they had been committing heinous crimes and were forgiven with the dropping of their swords. I think how many moments of time I have been prideful, following after the desires of my own heart, or the sins I've committed and can't help but be eternally grateful that the mercy shown to these lamanites is also shown me on a daily basis. Miraculous things happen evey day according to our Father's mercy. If 1000 can be converted, what miracles will and can he perform in your life according to His mercy? My heart has been brought to sing the redeeming song of love and is full of thanksgiving for the mercy and miracles in my life. They happen on a daily basis. I know I am nothing without his strength and it is only because of his mercy and love that I make it through each day."

Vision #1

Originally written 6/17/10

"My thoughts have been centered much of the time lately about what life really is. I woke up one day a couple of years ago and thought life just can't be getting up, going to work, coming home, doing a few things and going to bed only to do the same thing tomorrow. There has to be more than that. I think it becomes more apparent there has to be something more when I don't have a family to deal with. We are trained as children to grow up, get married, have wee cute ones, raise them, send them out to the world to do the same, then die knowing we did our part. So what happens when you don't fall into that category? What does life then become for you?"

Vision #2

"It has prompted me to really think about my specific mission in life. There is a reason my life has been the way it has. The Lord has needed me to learn things in this manner and it's the best way I could have learned them. I've truly come to realize and continually be reminded, especially in the last year that my life is not mine. I am here for a specific reason only I can fulfill and the Lord really needs me to do that. Each one of us has a unique set of challenges, trials, and experiences and I can testify that those components are part of our mission, however great or small. In Ether 12 it talks about mens' weaknesses and if men bring those weaknesses to Christ, He can turn them to strengths. As we overcome our challenges, we can use those strengths to help others, which is what life is. 'He that shall lose his life for my sake, shall find it' It we had not experienced what we did, we wouldn't have the same opportunities that were presented or will be presented to us because of that experience.

Interestingly enough, when I went to institute this week, we talked about vision. In the scriptures, we read over and over about prophets who were shown great visions about the future of the world and what it is to become. The question was presented, why does the Lord use visions? Why is that his teaching method? Some answers were, to keep their eyes on the prize so to speak , to maintain focus on what they needed to accomplish in their life, etc. I pose the same question to you just slightly changed. Why is vision so important in your life? Why is knowing God's vision for your life essential? The same answers apply as before. They are here to remind us of what we are truly here for and what our mission is in life. To remind us of the essential role we play in this life, because no matter what you think, we each have an essential role that no one else can play."

Vision #3

"What things do you have/do in your life that teach you what your role is? The first thing the class thought of was our patriarchal blessings. Is that not a vision for your life? Does that not show you some ways you should go? Of course it doesn't have everything because then how would we grow our faith. Most things we must learn from seeking through study, fasting and prayer. but what marvelous gifts we have in those.

As I've pondered this, I also pondered ME. Not only do I have challenges, but I also have inherent gifts given from an all wise Father to use for my mission. What gifts were bestowed upon me, and also what are just part of my nature and personality since our pre earth life? I'm coming very slowly to understand myself a little better. It has taken me much time, but I can appreciate some things about myself now, because the Lord has seen fit to show me a 'vision' of who I am. One of those gifts is empathy. Not just sympathy but empathy. I can truly understand the why's when people make the decisions thy do and can keep myself in a place of non judgement. I feel what they feel. It's been nice, expecially since I work in the field I do. I'm just coming to recognize that gift and I'm so grateful for it.

My challenge to you this week is to begin the process of finding your vision and understanding your role on this earth. I love you!!!"

Lights #1

I'm sorry there are so many here! These are previous things I've written and I wanted to share them, but they are too large for me to copy and paste so they are in segments! I've numbered them by what order you should read them

Originally written 6/22/10

"I have recently been reading a book by Jeffrey R. Holland entitled 'Christ and the New Covenant' which explains how the Book of Mormon has the fullness of the gospel contained in it's pages and his testimony. Its a pretty amazing book and in the first few pages it talks about the brother of Jared. Some things he said about the brother of Jared prompted me to go to the Book of Mormon to reread the account of him building the barges. For a very long time I have loved a passage in Ether and I read it frequently. In Ether 6: 6-7, it reads 'And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible temptests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind...when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord and He did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters.' These words spoke such beautiful comfort to me when I happened to read them one day. Often I feel like I am buried in the depths of the sea and drowning under enormous weight, but if I only call upon God he will bring me to the surface."

Lights #2

"As i read it this time, I started at the beginning of the story in Ether 2, where Christs tells the Brother of Jared to build the barges. The brother of Jared comes back and first says we have no way to get air, so the Lord tells him to make holes and plug them. Every so often they can unplug it and if water comes in they can plug them back up, no big deal. The brother returns, creates the holes and then one more time seeks inspiration from the Lord about what to do about light as they also have no light in the barges and even says, 'wilt thou suffer that we shall cross this great water in darkness.' The Lord responds differently this time. He says, 'What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels?' He leaves it up to the brother of Jared but includes some wonderful doctrine in the question.

The Lord goes on to say, 'I prepare you against these things for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come.' This great sea we have to cross, this life, is going to be crazy. We all knew that before we chose to come to earth. This scripture teaches us that we were prepared before we came. We wouldn't be able to do this without that preparation. But what it also teaches, is that we were part of that planning. What did we want Him to do to help us cross our great sea? In my patriarchal blessing it tells me adversity will almost bring me to the point of casting my lot with lucifer. EEEKKK, right? I fully expect this life to be hard, I have experienced some very dark times, but the Lord prepared me."

Lights #3

"In Ether 2:25 Christ asks ' therefore what will ye that i should prepare for you that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?' I began to ponder and wondered what 'lights' I have in my life. The obvious came to me first. I know we have prayer and scriptures, hymns, patriarchal blessings, blessings temples, and so forth but I began to think deeper. What other lights can I tell the Lord I would like when I am in the depths of the sea? Music, my nieces and nephews, my best friends, good books, my bicycle (YES, much time to think and ponder while I ride) But how could I forget the greatest light of all, the Atonement. This is my one true source of light that fills all those dark spaces, that binds up my broken heart, soothes my wounded soul, and completes me when I feel so incomplete all the time. There are so many lights, I couldn't name them all here, neither do I want to detract you from thinking of your lights.

Family, I testify to you that the Lord will neither leave us unprepared, nor comfortless when we are drowning in the depths of the sea. I don't know how many times he has pulled me to the surface just when I thought I might drown. Sometimes, it required me express faith that He could change things for me when all seemed lost and then the miracle happened, but it happpened nonetheless. 'Fatih precedes the miracle' right? What would you have Christ do to create light for you to cross your great deep?"

In the beginning...

A little over 6 months ago, I began to write emails to my family, sharing thoughts with them about the things i'd learn as I studied the gospel. After one particular post, my sister in law mentioned I should begin a blog so more people could have access to my thoughts. This morning as I was reading a new book I acquired, the thought came that I really do need to write a blog. So here goes! There are going to be very personal things sometimes as I explain what I am learning, but I hope in some way, you are touched, inspired, and made stronger by what I share. Please feel free to leave any comments you want! I love hearing others insights as well. I am going to be posting the emails I sent 6 months ago, as well as write new ones. My goal is to write once a week. Hold me to it!!