The Lord's hand

I don't know how many times in my life i've looked around and seen the blessings being heaped upon others, all the while thinking, "where are my blessings?, Why don't I get what I want? Why is the Lord not helping me?". I know, I know, not good!! I know this isn't true. I know the Lord desires, and delights in blessing us. I think the matter, then is not, "why doesn't He bless me?" but more, "What blessing have I not recognized?"

I just finished a book by Gerald Lund entitled "Divine Signatures, the Confirming Hand of God". As I was reading the book, satan put those little nasty thoughts in my head. Some days as I would read, I would get so frustrated because I felt that God had forgotten me. I actually had to say out loud, no that's not true. I know He blesses me, i just don't always see it. So that is where my focus has been the last few weeks, really coming to see the hand of the Lord in my life. It has been overwhelming to say the least. My eyes are really being opened to how aware God is of me, and the littlest things he does to help me see him

It can be something as small as my favorite ring from my bestie falling in my friend's shoe at church after it fell out of my lap, rather than falling on the floor. Or needing a little extra money, and 2 people contacting for massages. But the things I'm seeing now, are HUGE. I am understanding piece by piece, line upon line, the reason my life has been so hard for a couple of years. I don't understand it completely, and I may never will. There were some major things I needed to come to realize about myself. Things that actually require a professional to overcome, which I had to be humble enough to seek out. Being given the opportunity to see them, to change, so I don't pass things on to my children. If my best friend had never come into my life, I never would have acknowledged I neeeded help, or maybe never even seen how desperately I needed it.

All these things, without my knowing until a couple of days ago, are the things I needed most to begin doing the things I want to do with my life. I wouldn't be able to do these things, without this change. As hard as the last couple of years have been, I can look back and genuinely say thank you for the struggle, but also thank you for the understanding. I don't know why I worry and fret sometimes. I know God has this. He's God. He has everything